School's Picking Up

My German friends in NRW began their two-week fall vacation today. Though we don't get the same opportunities here in the US, we are taking full advantage of their first holiday weekend by organizing a time to meet and chat together online. I haven't had instantaneous contact with most of them since June. You can imagine how ecstatic I am about it.
They'll probably rub in the fact that they have a two-week break ahead of them. We've only been in session for three weeks, and most of my peers and I already could use a break like that. Today we had an English essay test on epics, the first timed English essay I've had in a long, long time. I think my long absence from translating abstract ideas into ink on paper showed. I also had a calculus test, which was very simple. The last question Ms. Jarnagin put on the paper was just a survey question, asking how we felt we did on her test. My answer: "I feel confident. Any error is a stupid mistake." I wish I felt so confident about my English or Civics work.
Actually, calculus will probably be more boring than I thought it would be this year. I imagined it as being a challenging course full of new, difficult concepts. Then the teacher showed some of the more difficult problems we'd do in class (just to show off how simple the class actually is), and I discovered that a lot of it is stuff that I did in my German math class. I never realized that those problems were calculus. They were introduced so gradually and slowly that I never even realized thtat the concepts were new. Remember how bored I was in that class? Well, this course will be faster paced, but the exact same concepts. And if that's what the hardest problems are going to be this semester, then I don't have much to look forward to.
Tonights away game was fun. Pacifica football slaughtered Rancho's. Pacifica pep band left Rancho's in the dust. We need to work on being more disciplined, though. People (mainly brass) keep on playing when we're not playing songs together, and it makes us look (and sound) unprofessional. They're louder than they think they are. Otherwise, the game was great. I got to hang out and chat with awesome people. Football games are basically social time with the altos and flutes and occassional brass player.
Cow Chip Bingo is tomorrow, and I might go just for the BBQ and hang out with the band folks. Later Miguel is holding a bonfire down at the pier with a friend of his from Cal State Fullerton, and Irene and I are going to that. I'm looking forward to that, too, because I haven't seen Miguel in awhile, and he's one of my best friends. He's maturing really fast, handling his life independently and responsibly. I've found myself looking up to him a lot in the last few weeks. I'm sad that our lives have branched apart and we don't have a lot of time to chat these days (we knew this was inevitable), but I'm glad that he's been finding himself, and that we're still pretty good friends, even if time has made our lives more distant.
Will I ever find time around all these awesome weekend activities with friends to get homework done? I sure hope so.

College Applications

If you have never lived through writing college applications, especially applying somewhere which you know does not have a 100% chance of getting in, you have not gone through one of the most emotionally taxing and depressing processes of life. In today's American society, the process has gotten worse. The pool of applying students has expanded. As a result, competition has increased for spots in most colleges, not just for Ivies. There's a saying at my sister's college that the "Freshman are smarter every year." A greater applicant pool means a wider selection for colleges. They can pick and choose who they want. For students, this means acceptance is more difficult.
American society says that you need to work for your own success. In our society, and this is especially extreme in my local community, the "only" way to be successful is to go to college. Our parents may or may not have had the opportunities open to us today. They pressure us to be better than they were. They expect us to be successful to their standards. If we teenagers don't make it into the college our parents think we should be going to, or just college in general, they deem us as failures.
There is no other option. We must go to college or our world will shatter in a thousand pieces. That final rejection letter is not only a rejection from college, but a rejection from family, peers, and mentors. We are deemed as lazy and incompetent. We are the bad example at family gatherings. We are the unnamed failure.
We students work hard to get our applications done. We sweat like we haven't perspired during a game or mile run while writing our essays. The process is nerveracking enough without the outside pressure. Most of us have our own standards to meet, without those of society hanging over us. The extra pressure is far from encouraging. It actually is a depriment to our performance. We start asking ourselves "What if they don't accept me? What if I'm not good enough?" Instead of completing applications and taking what comes of it, we worry about the future. Our uncertainty and fears are apparent through our writing. And if we do fall, the pressure makes the fall all the harder.
I believe that there is life beyond college. When we are applying this fall and winter, we may be planning the next four years of our lives, but life is so much longer than a mere four years. One of the greatest parts about America is the way people can be flexible with their careers. They can move up and be successful without a solid education. The founders of Google, Larry Page and Sergey Brin, were Stanford dropouts. Success is not determined whichever degree received from whichever college. Success, in the American sense, is determined by work ethic and passion.
I'd like to dispel some other misconceptions about the college application process. If you are a parent wondering why your high school senior doesn't have a college acceptance letter in their hand right now, it's because colleges don't normally send them out until March or April. The regular deadline for most college applications isn't until early January. Your student doesn't even need to turn their application in for another 2 1/2 months, and it's best to hold onto it until the last possible moment so that the student can make any changes to better it if necessary. It wouldn't be a good idea to harp on them about having a college acceptance right now. In most cases, it's impossible for them to have one at this moment, and it will only make the student more strained, and feel like he or she is doing something wrong.
Students should be encouraged to do what they dream of doing. We are individuals with our own character and personality, not forms whose destiny should be shaped by society. Extra pressure only dampens our ability to soar.

Homecoming 2006, with Guest Appearances from various Bandos

Homecoming 2006:
Pacifica HS slaughters Los Amigos, 52 to 17.
Even better:
The class of 007 wins the homecoming float for the 4th year running! A senior's life for me! Arrr!!
My one disappointment:
Band didn't get to march our show, before or at halftime.
On the other side:
The 8th graders came to play with us today, and we got two flutes who broke ever so slightly from their shells. And they can march pretty well even without instruction! I am excited for the band next year.
To improve:
My knowledge of the game. Becker tried to explain football tactics to me. They went right over my head.
But most bandos don't care about the game anyway, so long as we win so we can play (ie, sing) "Hey Baby" at the end.
What we do instead of watching:
Are these going on the slideshow? You betcha. Don't you love Americans who will play around with your camera for you? You get such great pictures! (For those of you reading this who are not bandos, we really aren't this immature . Uh, most of the time; For those of you who are, you'll get to remember it in June)
Bandos, I love you. Do you love me?
<3s

Last First Day of School

Today was the last of the firsts. No reason for celebration. These occasions occur every time you try something new or have a different experience. Sometimes they are even on the unconscious level.
This time it was conscious, though. Or for me it was. Today was the last first day in high school. Some people may have gone through it without second thought or in a daze (I know how strange it is to suddenly have to change your sleeping pattern to get up at 6 am again). For me it was a combination of nerves, uncertainty, and excitement. It was great to see the people I haven't been able to get in touch with over the break.
A couple of the courses look like more than I hoped for. Calculus looks amazing. Besides the fact that my class is overridden by Juniors (I'm kidding!; that would have been me a year ago). The class looks like it's going to be interesting. The teacher has humor and actually wants to teach for the sake of our mathematical betterment, and not just for the AP test.
US History, on the other hand, doesn't look quite so interesting. I know 1 person in the entire class (this class IS all Juniors). The teacher doesn't have the same assurance and confidence that my other teachers do. Then again, I've only had her for a single period so far. Maybe it will pick up.
In the classes in which I have friends, there's a good mix of people. I used to have 5 classes a day with the same people, but now with my whacked up schedule I get more variety. The person I have the most periods with is Allison, and we only have 3 together. I kind of like that.
I also have my locker next to some cool people. If I don't lose my lock again before tomorrow, I can actually pass them by while getting books.

Reflections of this Year Gone Past

It's amazing how fast time goes. A year ago today was my first dawn in the country that would change my life. Those ten and a half months flew by faster than I thought that they would. The first few months were the slowest; the effort to communitcate, understand, and interact with those around me sapped up energy and left me drained. I couldn't believe it when a mere month had past. It felt like it was at least a year.
Then things started picking up. I could get my point across easier. I made some friends. I picked up new activities to consume my time. I wasn't doing nearly as many activities, nor such time-consuming activities as I had pursued at home, but they still made the time go by faster.
Sometimes I still felt drained of all energy. There were still tough times, bad times, problems. On occasion you'd just wish that the year would end quickly, so that you could be rid of the pain. Or you'd want some kind of power to fast forward time til the troubles were gone.
Those were foolish thoughts. It's the bad times which make you grow the most.
Everything always seems shorter on the other side of Christmas. The year wasn't even half over, and you suddenly felt like you had to cram everything in that you hadn't done. By that time I was more comfortable and settled into the daily routines. Friendships were growing. Language was better.
Then March hit.
For me, it was the best time of my life followed closely by the worst. Midstay was one of the most exciting things that ever happened to me (excluding exchange in general). I made lots of friends and experienced a lot of new aspects of life. My family was good to me, and it made me rethink some of the stuff I'd put up with in my other one. Midstay was like going on a retreat: you leave feeling mediocre and come back rejuvenated. I was prepared to continue my life with my family, whom I'd been having problems with, and start out like new. I felt like we could solve all the issues that we'd had. Less than 24 hours after I'd returned, those feelings were dashed, and I felt like my world was collapsing. I couldn't handle the pain anymore. I had to leave.
It's one thing to go somewhere not knowing the language, the culture, having nothing to hold onto, and start a life. It's another to relocate, knowing the language, culture, and having nothing but the feeling that you've failed.
March was a bad month.
But it got better.
My new family was better. Much better. We understood each other. My host mom helped me grapple with my feelings of guilt and uncertainty. I had no idea how much confidence I'd lost during my ordeal. Slowly we got life pulled together. What I love about them most is how they have multiple reasons for every decision they make, and are firm with them. And whenever I offered different reasons, they accepted that and maybe changed their policies, if my way seemed more efficient. And vice versa, as well.
Problems? Sure, we had our problems. But we developed a way of communication in order to be up front about them. It hurts feelings more to live in the same house with someone and avoid talking with them than to be open about how you feel. We solved all our problems with a little time.
The last four months were awesome. If you hear me talking about Germany, that's probably what you'll hear about.
My single regret about the year was switching so late. I wish that I had realized that I needed to leave sooner. Then again, if I had left earlier, I might not have gotten the same host family that I got in March.
The most exciting part? There are so many.
Look at how breathtaking life can be.